Praise Be Joseph Pulitzer!
I can not believe the favorite tabloid of my youth,
The Weekly World News, has made its premiere on Google Books. With a sizable percentage of the Facebook generation taking information gleaned from the internet as fact, you can almost imagine some of the hysterical middle school term papers that are bound be submitted in upcoming years - - -
A Paper For The Art Bell Crowd:
Based out of Florida, the Weekly World News was a supermarket tabloid that started out like it's contemporaries; printing gossip, weight loss plans, celebrity photos and other unreadable crap. From its premiere in 1980 through the turn of the decade, it had gradually transformed into a full blown fiction, with screaming headlines, pseudo stories, farked photos and weekly features from:
►Psychic Sophia Sabak - Later replaced by her younger, more attractive "niece" Serena
►Dear Dotty Advice Column - Innuendo-laced snark that made Xavier Hollander look tame
► Ed Anger's My America - Radical right editorials penned by a stone-age Archie Bunker
The Poor Man's Onion
Other than the higher-brow periodical, The Onion, the first analogy that comes to mind is sport. If the Wall Street Journal is Greco-Roman Wrestling or the New York Times Free-Style Wrestiing; that makes most metropolitan daily tabloids Mixed Martial Arts bouts and the Weekly World News the equivalent of the WWF or GLOW's brand of "Professional Wrestling".
Beyond the Nineties
At the turn of the millennium, the Weekly World News' popularity had peaked and its 'best days' were behind it. Billing itself as
The World's Only Reliable Newspaper, its circulation numbers remained strong for the 2001 premiere of the Broadway musical
BatBoy, based around the paper's more popular creations. Evident in the Howard Beale line, "guess I just ran out of bullshit" - by 2006 readership plummeted and publication ceased.
| Nazi Astronauts Return to Earth
Hitler Launched Them - In 1943! It's Incredible...They Haven't Aged a Day, Says NASA Source
Nelson Mann - April 17, 1990 |
| Titanic Survivor Found On Iceberg
Trawler Picks Up Young Woman Dressed In 1900s Clothes! She Thinks It's April 15, 1912 - And Her Dress Is Still Wet!
Jerry Hale - October 23, 1990 |
| Alien Captured By U.S. Agents!
Creature's UFO Landed In Virgina Mountains! More Top Secret Photos Inside!
October 30, 1990 - Special to the News |
| Wounded Civil War Soldier Found in Georgia
Doctors Remove Yankee Musket Ball From Man in Tattered Rebel Uniform. The Man Is Not From Our Century, Doctors Tell Police
Doug Kinney - November 13, 1990 |
| Noah's Ark Found in Pennsylvania
Scientist: Old Testament Ship Is Buried in Mountainside...And It Looks Exactly As The Bible Says
David W. Ross - January 8, 1991 |
| 73-Year Old JFK Photographed In Window Of White House
Crippled Kennedy Huddling With Bush Over Iraq! Electrifying Pictures Taken Just Days Ago
WWN - January 29, 1991 |
| Farmer Shoots 23 Pound Grasshopper!
Giant Bug Is 4 Feet Long!
Steve Dunlop - April 9, 1991 |
| Space Alien Meets With President Bush!
Top Secret Photo! Creature at Camp David for Six Amazing Hours!
Nick Mann - May 14, 1991 |
| China's Bizarre Plot to Knock Earth Out of Orbit
1.3 Billion Chinese Will Jump Up & Down At The Same Time Sending Planet Into Spin Sept. 27!
Dave Taylor - June 25, 1991 |
| Titanic Captain Found In Lifeboat!
Navy Ship Picks Up Englishman In Fresh 1900s Officer's Uniform. He [Also] Thinks It's April 15, 1912 - And His Pipe Is Still Lit!
Special to the News - September 10, 1991 |
| Loch Ness Monster Captured!
World Exclusive Photos! Beast Is 70 Feet Long And Weighs 20 Tons! We've Caught The Last Dinosaur On Earth!
Jack Alexander - January 4, 1992 |
| Plane Missing Since 1939 Lands!
Skeletons Of 36 Passengers And Crew Found Strapped In Their Seats Aboard New DC-3 Airliner! Old Gold Cigarettes Still Smoldering In The Cabin - And The Coffee's Still Hot!
Peter Drake - May 26, 1992 |
| Adam & Eve's Skeletons Found - In Colorado!
Incredible Photos! The Bible's Garden Of Eden Discovered South Of Denver! Amazing Proof Book Of Genesis Is True
David W. Ross - June 2, 1992 |
| I Had Bigfoot's Baby
World Exclusive: Seattle Mom's Amazing Story! Furry 4-Year-Old Is Healthy, Happy & Smart As A Whip!
Drew Mason - September 29, 1992 |
| Alien Tells Clinton And Bush: Five U.S. Senators Are Space Aliens!
They're Named Inside! Find Out If Your Senator Is On The List!
Nick Mann - November 3, 1992 |
| Hillary Clinton Adopts Alien Baby
Official Photo: Space Creature Survived UFO Crash In Arkansas!
Nick Mann - June 15, 1993 |
| 80 Foot Dinosaur Captured In Brazilian Jungle!
Horrified Witnesses See Creature Eat Famous Scientist Alive!
Sarah Mills - July 13, 1993 |
| Clinton Meets With JFK!
Crippled Kennedy Tells Clinton How To Save His Presidency! Top Secret 2-Hour Meeting At Camp David
Marcus Caine - July 27, 1993 |
| Abraham Lincoln's Corpse Revived
He's Kept Alive For 95 Seconds!
Beatrice Dexter - October 5, 1993 |
| Heaven Photographed By Hubble Telescope
Divine Image Stuns NASA! 'We Found Where God Lives,' Says Scientist
Ron Kinton - February 8, 1994 |
| Challenger Astronaut Found Alive! On A Tiny Island In The Bahamas
1986 Space Disaster: There Is A Survivor!
Nick Mann - March 1, 1994 |
| Rush Limbaugh Meets With Space Aliens!
Extraterrestrials Urge Talk Show Host To Run For President In 1996!
Scotty Paul - April 19, 1994 |
| Couple With 8-Inch Tongues Marry!
We're Looking Forward To Starting A New Family Says New Bride!
Scotty Paul - June 14, 1994 |
No comments:
Post a Comment