Dead Man Talking: Keith Richards Being Mean-Spirited With Assumed Sinister Undertones

Snark from a Cadaverous Guitarist
Who:
Keith Richards, the often-stoned Stone, expensive wino, and washed-up pirate   

What:
Opinions made about contemporaries in and out of the industry we refer to as the music business - - -  

Why:
Whether you agree or disagree with the man, if you appreciate honest insolence over phony pretense, you gotta respect his frankness

Dedication:
To brother wiedmann: The more[?] sober, Gen Y version of septuagenarian Richards. One of the rare few you'll come across who has no qualms about offering frank & unpopular opinions - while at the same time remaining completely indifferent to the perceptions of others   

Acknowledgments:
Jessica Pallington West's What Would Keith Richards Do?;
Assorted news stories and periodicals

	Chuck Berry "I've worked with two of the toughest bitches of all time. That's why I could handle Chuck" "I wouldn't warm to him if he was cremated next to me" "He gave me more headaches than Mick Jagger" "He's always scared of giving something for free"
	Beck "People told me to listen to Beck, but that didn't take long"
	David Bowie "Who's David Bowie? Oh, he went to the same art school as me"
	Chicago "I would think contrived"
	Eric Clapton "There are certain guys that are band players and there's certain guys that ain't. If there's anybody lazier than me, it's Eric"
	P. Diddy "Puff Daddy is a piece of crap"
	Duran Duran "You get Duran Duran [to] walk into our fucking sessions and say, 'What are you doing in that room together?' It's called playing music. That's the only way we record, you snotty little turd.
	Bob Dylan "We play a lot of his LPs, Brian and I, and quite a lot of his lyrics don't mean anything to us. I have nothing against Dylan or Donovan but I'm sick to the back teeth about the characters who are just climbing on a craze, that think they can make quite a fortune" Bob's a nasty little bugger. I remember him saying to me, 'I could have written "Satisfaction", but you couldn't have written "Desolation Row"'. I said, 'well, you're right there, Bob'
	Jean-Luc Godard "He's out of his depth in England, like William the Conqueror" "He's a Frenchman, we can't help them"
	Guns n' Roses "I admire their guts. But too much posing. Their look; it's like there's one out of this band, one looks like Jimmy, one looks like Ronnie. Too much copycat, too much posing for me"
	Mick Jagger "The only things Mick & I disagree about is the band, the music and what we do" "I know he's got an enormous pair of balls - but it doesn't quite fill the gap" "Dog Shit in the Doorway"
	Elton John "I absolutely draw the line at elephants. Even with trousers on. I've paid my dues, I've worked with Elton and that's enough" "His writing is limited to songs about dead blondes" "Oh man, what an old bitch"
	Brian Jones "He's a woman beater. But the one woman in the world you did not want to try and beat up on was Anita Pallenberg. Every time they had a fight, Brian would come out bandaged and bruised"
	Led Zeppelin "I played their Led Zeppelin album quite a few times when I first got it, but then the guy's voice started to get on my nerves. I don't know why; maybe he's a little too acrobatic"
	Paul McCartney "I'm not at all interested in what Paul McCartney does. Unfortunately, John Lennon's dead"
	Metallica "I don't know where Metallica's inspiration comes from, but if it's from me, then I fucked up"
	Miami Sound Machine "A Holiday Inn band. A club band that made it"
	George Michael "Shave and go home. He's a wimp in disguise"
	Oasis "These guys are just obnoxious. Grow up and then come back and see if you can hang"
	Robert Plant "Plant and Bonham are a couple of clueless Ernies from the Midlands"
	Prince "Prince is like The Monkees. A Pee-Wee Herman trip. He's appealing to the same audience"
	Mick Ronson "Now they're forcing Mick Ronson on people. They're lucky they got away with Bowie"
	Sex Pistols "There's more to it than saying 'shit' on TV or learning to spit by practicing in the mirror"
	Spice Girls "Well, quite a fascinating phenomenon. They're really just a lot of tarts. 'Can they sing?' No. 'Can they play?' No. The world's gone mad, it needs something like them. But they won't stay very long"
	Bruce Springsteen "I like Bruce. He ain't no brilliant artist...he's holding the fort until something good comes along. If there was anything better around, he'd still be working the bars of New Jersey...He'd be the first to say so, but in the absence of anything better, Bruce is filling a good gap. What else you got?" I like the guy... I love his attitude. I love what he wants to do. I just think he's gone about it the wrong way. These are just my opinions, and OK, I'll annoy the lot of you. Bruce? Too contrived for me. Too overblown
	Rod Stewart "... and Rod swore they would never leave Britain. The minute their mansions were threatened, they were in L.A. like a shot"
	Mick Taylor "Skyrocket to oblivion"
	Sid Vicious "[Committing suicide]: He's trying to steal my [Canadian drug arrest] headlines"
	Steve Winwood "A great musician, but he's kind of faceless. A great voice, but that's not enough"
	Bill Wyman "Maybe Bill's happy running his restaurants & marrying people he never sees again. I don't know"